TL;DR
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Ines and Ross say a fertility doctor told them they were having sex too often while trying to conceive, after they were having sex several times a day. The couple, now parents to a 10-month-old daughter, describe how miscarriage and parenthood changed the pace and circumstances of their sex life while they say their closeness remains.
Ines and Ross say a fertility doctor advised them they were having sex too often while trying for a child, after they had been having sex four or five times a day. In a first-person account published by Guardian Life, the couple describe how fertility concerns, a miscarriage and the birth of their daughter changed the rhythm of their sex life, while they say affection and desire remain part of their relationship.
Ines says she was 36 when she met Ross, then 28, and had been told her anti-Müllerian hormone levels were low enough that she might never have a baby. She underwent three rounds of egg freezing that year. Four months into dating, she asked Ross whether he wanted children, worried that they might have to end the relationship if they wanted different things. She says he reassured her that he did.
The couple began trying for a child about six months later. Ines says they were having sex multiple times a day when their fertility doctor told them they were having too much. She recalls being told that sex every other day gives sperm time to develop. The account does not identify the doctor or provide further medical details about the advice.
After a miscarriage, the couple say sex became more focused on comfort. They married soon afterward, and describe gradually returning to sex. Their daughter is now 10 months old. Ines says they have sex about four times a week rather than several times a day, and describes it as more relaxed and affectionate. Ross says they take account of fatigue, the baby’s presence and Ines’s comfort, and that he stopped initiating to reduce pressure.
When Trying to Conceive Changed the Rhythm of Sex
Ines and Ross describe fertility concerns, miscarriage and new parenthood reshaping their intimate life while affection and desire remain part of their relationship.
Intimacy through different seasons
The couple frame their story as a personal account, not a template for other couples or medical guidance. They describe routine, opportunity and energy changing over time, while closeness continued in different forms.
Sex became frequent
Ines says they were having sex multiple times a day when their fertility doctor advised them to slow the pace. She recalls being told that every other day gives sperm time to develop.
Comfort came first
They say sadness left them without sex for a time. They remained emotionally open with each other and describe intimacy returning gradually.
Affection found a new rhythm
Fatigue, childcare and Ines’s comfort shape when they are intimate. She describes sex now as more relaxed and affectionate.
From fertility concerns to family life
Ines and Ross describe decisions and experiences that changed the circumstances around intimacy, without presenting them as a medical roadmap.
Ines says she had been told her anti-Müllerian hormone levels were low and completed three rounds of egg freezing.
Four months into dating, she asked Ross whether he wanted children. He said he did, she recalls.
About six months later, they began trying for a child and sought fertility advice.
After a miscarriage, they say sex paused for a time and returned slowly.
They now care for their 10-month-old daughter and adjust intimacy around comfort, fatigue and childcare.
Desire, care and room to adjust
“Our desire hasn’t diminished, but I’m content with a cuddly, loving shag these days.”
— Ines
What the account does—and doesn’t—say
Ines’s recollection is the only detail provided about the doctor’s advice. The account does not identify the doctor or offer an independent medical assessment.
She recalls being told this schedule gives sperm time to develop while trying to conceive.
The account gives no further medical details about the advice, miscarriage or any later fertility care.
Closeness beyond sex
Ines says her desire remains, though she is content with a more cuddly and less elaborate sex life. Ross says they do not owe each other sex and that caring for their daughter takes priority.
They describe adjusting to fatigue, childcare and comfort, with affection and practical support helping them stay close. Their experience is personal; it does not establish what schedule is right for anyone else trying to conceive.
What readers may want to know
What did the fertility doctor tell them?
Ines says the doctor told them they were having sex too often while trying to conceive. She recalls being told that every other day gives sperm time to develop. The doctor is not identified.
How often do they say they have sex now?
Ines says about four times a week, compared with four or five times a day before. She describes their current sex as more relaxed and affectionate.
How did miscarriage affect them?
They say they were too sad to have sex for a time, but remained open with each other. They describe returning to sex gradually.
What changed after their daughter was born?
They say fatigue, childcare and the baby’s presence affect when and how they are intimate. Ross says he stopped initiating to reduce pressure on Ines.
Parenthood Changes Their Intimacy
The account describes an experience that can be difficult for couples to discuss: the way trying to conceive can make sex feel scheduled, while miscarriage and caring for a newborn can alter both desire and opportunity. Ines and Ross present their story as a personal account, not as a template for other couples or medical guidance.
They distinguish between a changed routine and diminished affection. Ines says her desire has not faded, though she is content with sex that is more cuddly and less elaborate. Ross says they do not owe each other sex and that caring for their daughter takes priority. Their descriptions underscore that couples may define closeness through everyday gestures as well as sex, especially when time and energy are limited.
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From Fertility Concerns to Parenthood
Before the relationship, Ines says she had been warned about her low anti-Müllerian hormone levels and completed three rounds of egg freezing. She did not initially tell Ross about the treatment, she says, because she feared it might scare him away. When she later told him, he said he wanted to stay and have children with her.
The couple say they conceived after deciding to try, but their first pregnancy ended in miscarriage. They describe being too sad to have sex for a time, while remaining emotionally open with each other. After their daughter was born, they took sex slowly, with Ross saying he was concerned about hurting Ines. The couple say their current routine reflects the practical demands of caring for a baby as well as their own choices.
“Our desire hasn’t diminished, but I’m content with a cuddly, loving shag these days.”
— Ines
Details Behind the Doctor’s Advice
The couple’s account does not name their fertility doctor, specify when the advice was given, or explain whether it related to their individual medical circumstances. The explanation about sex every other day is presented as what Ines recalls being told; the article does not provide an independent medical assessment. It also does not give further details about the miscarriage or the fertility treatment outcome. The experiences described are personal and do not establish what schedule is appropriate for other people trying to conceive.
The Couple’s Life as Parents
The account offers no upcoming medical milestone or further treatment plan. Ines and Ross describe continuing to adjust to life with their daughter, finding time for intimacy when they can and supporting each other with childcare. They say their relationship remains close, though its routines differ from those they had before becoming parents.
For readers seeking fertility advice, the couple’s story is not a substitute for individual guidance from a qualified health professional. The account does not say whether they received further fertility care after their daughter’s birth.
Source: Guardian Life
Key Questions
What did the fertility doctor tell Ines and Ross?
Ines says their doctor told them they were having sex too often while trying to conceive. She recalls being told that sex every other day gives sperm time to develop. The doctor is not identified, and the account does not include more details about the advice.
How often do they say they have sex now?
Ines says they now have sex about four times a week, compared with four or five times a day before. She describes their current sex as more relaxed and affectionate.
How did the miscarriage affect their relationship?
Ines and Ross say they were too sad to have sex for a time after the miscarriage, but remained open with each other. They describe their sex life returning gradually.
What do they say changed after their daughter was born?
They say fatigue, childcare and concerns about having sex with the baby in the room have affected when and how they are intimate. Ross says he stopped initiating to reduce pressure on Ines, and both describe nonsexual affection and practical support as part of their closeness.
Source: Guardian Life
